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Twin Flame or Toxic Fable: Debunking the Misuse of Spiritual Connections

An Eye-Opening Examination of How We Use Spiritual Terminology to Justify Toxic Relationships and Avoid Responsibility.

I know, I know. You’ve been hearing about this phenomenon called “twin flames” from every corner of the internet. It’s like someone went to the spiritual buzzword buffet and came back with a heaping plate of twin-flame spaghetti. So, let’s unpack this metaphysical can of worms and see how it’s affecting our ability to navigate relationships.

Twin flames, soul mates, karmic partners — oh my! These terms make relationships seem like they’re straight out of a fairy tale, don’t they? They’re comforting, they’re exciting, and they’re as reassuring as a warm cup of cocoa on a rainy day. But let’s face it, they can also act as an invisibility cloak for our toxic relationship habits.

Now, let’s be clear. I’m not a cynic. I’m all for soul growth, spiritual connections, and yes, even the mystical idea of twin flames. However, I’m also a staunch advocate for emotional health, self-awareness, and taking responsibility for our actions and decisions in relationships. And let’s be honest, blaming our toxic relationship habits on the mystical union of two souls is like blaming your overindulgence in cookies on the cookie jar. It’s irresistible, yes, but it’s not the jar’s fault, is it?

The Spiritual Bypassing Express

The term ‘spiritual bypassing’ was coined by psychologist John Welwood in the 1980s. It refers to the use of spiritual beliefs to avoid dealing with hard truths about ourselves and our relationships. Sound familiar?

For instance, you’re stuck in a relationship that’s more draining than a bottomless sink. You constantly argue, don’t respect each other’s boundaries, and every day feels like an emotional roller coaster. But instead of addressing these glaring red flags, you say, “But we’re twin flames, we’re meant to go through these intense experiences to grow together.”

And that, ladies, is your ticket on the Spiritual Bypassing Express. Next stop: Misery Central Station.

The Masquerade of Suffering

Let’s get one thing straight — suffering is not a prerequisite for growth. Yes, growth often involves discomfort and stepping out of our comfort zones. But there’s a vast difference between discomfort and the relentless suffering that stems from toxic relationships.

When we romanticise our suffering and label it as a spiritual journey, we’re effectively putting lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig, and it’s still not going to turn into a unicorn, no matter how much glitter you throw at it.

In essence, we’re using spiritual terms as a shield to avoid taking responsibility for the health of our relationships. It’s easier to say, “It’s our destiny to go through these trials” than to say, “I’ve chosen a relationship that’s causing me harm.”

Facing the Music

So, how do we get off this not-so-merry merry-go-round? Well, the first step is always awareness. Are you using spiritual terminology as a smokescreen for toxicity? Are you clinging onto a relationship that’s harming you because you believe it’s your spiritual destiny?

Once you’ve acknowledged this, it’s time to take action. This might involve setting healthy boundaries, seeking professional help, or even leaving the relationship. Remember, you’re not just a passenger on your relationship journey; you’re in the driver’s seat.

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